Katrina and The Waves

Harper College used to have a student newspaper called “The Harbinger.” They still might, I don't know. I'm never on campus. If they do I can't imagine that they still make printed copies. Shit, when I was a student there over fifteen years ago they had a new issue once a semester.

I can only recall two different editions. One was from fall 2008, my final semester. The front page story was a piece about a new Board of Trustees member. The Trustee's picture looked stoic and authoritative, and I used it in a collage that completely aped Shepard Fairey and is totally embarrassing in hindsight.

The other was back in 2006 with a headline that read “Katrina and the Waves.” The article had nothing to do with the band nor the natural disaster that had just happened the year prior. That was it. Just “Katrina and the Waves.”

I still think about that headline sometimes. Did I misunderstand something? I assumed they were just trying to be shocking. At the time, I scoffed at it and thought something like, “fuckin' try-hards.” Then I went home and practiced with my grindcore band that used homophobic slurs in our lyrics.

It's been about four months since I last wrote anything in this Word document, and I'm looking back at it thinking “what the fuck was I trying to get at?” It's wild that it's been less than half a year and I already hate younger-me's stream of consciousness.

The other day my friend Sean and I were hanging out. I turned to him and said “I think it might be cool to live in Kankakee.” He said I was crazy and that I would be miserable there. He's probably right. Why would I ever think that would be a good idea? It's because I romanticize about bullshit I make up in my head.

I feel that way about the Fox River. I had a great uncle Bill who lived on the Fox River. We visited great uncle Bill once when I was a kid, and the image of the Fox River butting up to his backyard is still magical to me. I've always wanted to live on the Fox, but I'm sure it sucks complete ass when it floods. Again, romanticizing bullshit I've made up in my head.

My wife and I have a lake in our backyard. Not some man-made retention pond you would find in newer subdivision. A real honest-to-god lake. We get sand-hill cranes back there sometimes. They sound like angelic monsters. We also get pelicans which I find surreal. I didn't even know we had those things up here.

We can use small motorized boats in the lake. I'd rather get a kayak or a little row boat. Boats are expensive. This is something I didn't know prior nor did I ever think I'd know. Even the shitty ones are a couple hundred. There's one for sale in Barrington. I might talk the guy down big time. We'll see. He's the kinda Craigslist user who only does phone calls so I'll have to haggle in real time. I hate that shit. But it's for a boat, you know?

It's been nearly 10 years since I last tried doing a zine. Maybe I've been romanticizing this as well? I got lucky the last time I tried this. I was living in DeKalb during a boom in the punk scene. The zine was called Foliage. Tony and I would leave copies of Foliage at the House Cafe and 7th Street Space and they'd be gone within days. Then I lost my mind because life is a crushing presence and we stopped doing it. I've been feeling better since, although this Covid era sucked.

I think about death all the time. A large part of my family is dead. The pandemic reminded me that you really need to be grateful for whatever you can, because there's a lot of shit in life, and it can be over in a blink. Nothing inherently matters so why not start another zine that I'll just dump money into with no ROI . Just like my record label and radio show that do the same exact thing.

It's now been nearly three years since I last touched this Word document. I don't even remember writing those last 750 words Jesus Christ, where does the time even go these days? I'm starting to believe the Mayans were right about 2012. Time just goes faster and faster, and the world as we once knew it has ended. That, combined with our current fascist government.

I ended up buying a boat. A canoe to be exact. It wound up being a lot cheaper than I thought it would. My brother and I took it out into Napa Suwe a couple years ago and had a really magical time. We actually plan to take it down the Fox this summer.

I stopped doing the radio show over two years ago. It got to be too much and I just couldn't handle it any longer. Then my good friend Jeff - the guy who did the show before mine – died and it hurt too much to even listen to the station.

But I listen pretty often again now. Especially to Erik Hanson's bag The Local Music Show. His passion for local artists actually inspired me to start doing this webzine. That and a whole bunch of other things.

Social media is truly a plight on society. The internet is too centralized, and I miss the nooks and crannies of what we all took for granted 20 years ago. So here we are. I've been dying to do a zine or a webzine for several years now and I've finally pulled the trigger. Hope you enjoy your time here. Maybe I'm just romanticizing again, but at least I'm not living in Kankakee.